


The Time Given to Us

by Arakano



Category: PRISTIN (Band)
Genre: AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2018-11-15 23:52:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11241888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arakano/pseuds/Arakano
Summary: Perhaps she should have joined another company, taken up that other offer before it was too late but now she is 21 and still there are no plans.Manager!Nayoung AU





	1. Not Quite So Far

  _Not Quite So Far_

* * *

The cool glass behind her back, the smooth wooden floor beneath her feet, the soft whirring of the AC. It is all so familiar but today it does nothing to reassure Nayoung. Her thoughts flit back to the conversation she had with the trainer earlier that day after the last other female trainee did not show up to practice.

Nayoung bites her lower lip, slowly let herself sink down until she sits, chin to her knees, hair falling down like a curtain.

Over the past few months she has watched the company turn their focus entirely towards boys and deep inside her heart she knows, knows, knows what she does not want to believe is true, but she knows and she knows that it is over.

Perhaps she should have joined another company, taken up that other offer before it was too late but now she is 21 and still there are no plans. It is not impossible, not impossible that they might be able to find some people and scrape together-

No.

It is done. This is over.

It wasn’t the right time. There weren’t the right people. Not the right set of circumstances. The universe did not will it. Sometimes the stars do not align. Sometimes people don’t get what they want.

Nayoung knows that is not all though, because there are always ways.

She just wasn’t good enough.

* * *

She still returns to the company - the trainers are so used to her, and she so used to heading there after classes that her feet take her back. She starts out slowly, attends fewer of the classes, stands further and further back in the room until they stop noticing her.

She stops attending vocal training then one day she just does not bring her gym bag.

No one notices so she just troops in with her book bag, finds a corner of the building, spreads her homework out and does it there even if her heart is not in it in the slightest. Some of the boys shoot wistful glances at her when they emerge from dance practice though they do not really talk to her.

“Nayoung,” a voice catches her in the hall three weeks in, “do you have a moment?”

She puts her book bag down, misses the weight of her gym bag in her hands, follows them into a room.

“So uh,” they at least have the grace to look a little uncomfortable, “We know that it’s been pretty rough for you lately.”

Nayoung nods.

“Everyone really does like having you around though,” they scratch the back of their head, “so we were thinking, and we know this is going to be a difficult decision to make, and we’re kind of asking a lot of you, but well, would you like to stay here with us to be a manager?”

They smile wryly.

Nayoung thinks about her grades, thinks about a small cubicle in an office far away, of a world that is so vastly different from what she has spent so long trying to achieve, thinks of the world whose doors she could now take a peek into.

She nods.

The look she gets in return is not quite pity but it slips a soft sinking feeling into her stomach that she does not manage to shake for a while.

* * *

Her days get busy really quickly - so much so that college classes become nothing more than a distant afterthought. The boys that she now accompanies around as a manager-in-training demand a lot of attention but they are kind and thoughtful and bashful, many having trained with her at one point.

Seungcheol shoots her a look she cannot quite place once when she passes him a bottle of water but they do not have time to speak, and honestly have nothing to talk about so the moment passes and Nayoung instead settles with making sure that they have the right seating arrangement, that all the fan gifts make it into the second van.

She is jostled by an overly large sign and a large plush falls on her head but she remembers the boys’ grateful smiles and for the first time in a while, Nayoung feels like things might be alright.

* * *

“So uh,” she turns around from making sure the last signed CD for the PDs makes it into the bag, “have a moment, Nayoung?”

She passes the bag on to the main manager, slides off into the side. He shoots her a strange look and Nayoung feels her palms begin to sweat.

It has been almost two years now that she has been working with the boys - she is so used to life on the road, grabbing a snack here and there while she can, waking up early to drive the car over to the dorm, getting whatever sleep she can in shifts with the other managers. She cannot think of a reason why she would be getting fired even though they did just bring in another male manager-in-training two months ago and he has been doing a good job.

She swallows as they close the door behind her.

“So,” they say, “Main Manager Kim says you’ve been an absolute asset to the team, that they can’t really do very much without you nowadays, so I’m not surprised that he’s kind of mad at me about this.”

Nayoung feels her blood run cold.

“But we’re thinking of debuting Jieqiong this fall and were wondering if you’d like to be her main manager?”

Nayoung’s first thought is who?

But instead confusion just shows on her face.

They smile warmly, almost fatherly, “You’ve been doing an amazing job, Nayoung, and this isn’t a demotion in any sense - we think you’re the right person for this. She’s going to need help and from what the boys tell us, you’ll be just the person to help her.”

Nayoung nods haltingly.

“We won’t be starting for a while but I’ve already asked Main Manager Kim to get someone to take over most of your duties for the next few days. You’ve worked hard, Nayoung. You deserve a break.”

Nayoung nods again, feels as if the world has suddenly changed around her.

* * *

She has never had free time in the day before.

She must have, somehow, sometime in the distant past when she was a child with no care in the world but to be honest, Nayoung remembers nothing of this sort. She remembers going to school, going to practice, going to school, back to practice, then driving the boys around and suddenly she does not have to be anywhere in five hours and the night is longer than she has ever remembered.

She wakes up in her bed, sees the light stream in through the windows, has a moment of sheer panic - doesn’t she need to be driving Jihoon to- oh.

She sinks back into her pillows, rolls over to see the clock say 10. A corner of her gym bag peeks out from under her bed.

Nayoung gets up.

* * *

No one even bats an eye when Nayoung slides into the gym, changes into practice clothes that she last put on years ago and hits the treadmill hard.

She knows she doesn’t need to - running around after the boys has made sure that she has been keeping in ridiculously good shape, but it helps distract her from thinking since she dislikes running so much. She used to be fit, used to have the stamina but now that she has neither trained nor practice in such a long time…

She shakes her head in an attempt to clear it of the thoughts that threaten to break in but they enter anywhere.

Not a demotion, they said, and they said that she would be better paid and be less busy.

Less busy is not a good thing in this industry, Nayoung knows.

And she does not remember, has only vague recollections of who her new charge is going to be. At least with the boys she knew them and they respected her, having trained with her for years. This new person - they must be new if she does not remember them - everything is different.

And a solo artist on top of that.

Nayoung knows she should not jump to conclusions, neither should she judge a person she has never met, but solo artists have a tendency to burn brightly, strongly, then burn straight out, if they make it big at all. Most release a single song then fizzle out and then-

Where would that leave her?

She hears the door close behind her, does not remember hearing it open and definitely does not remember leaving it open herself.

* * *

“Jieqiong?”

Jieqiong hurriedly turns the music off, stands at attention as the dance trainer enters the room.

“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be working out in the gym?”

Her eyes dart to the side, “There was someone on the treadmill.”

The trainer sighs, “You could do something else then - the elliptical or something.”

Jieqiong pouts. The trainer sighs again.

“You’re going to debut soon. You have to make sure to always present your best side.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

* * *

The boys are understandably a little upset. Nayoung whacks a couple of them (gently, of course) across the back of their heads. Mingyu looks like a kicked puppy - though given his height, a little more like a sad overgrown dog.

They write her cute little notes that she stashes away in her bag, wave to her from inside their van and all of a sudden it is just Nayoung and a single van and going back to the company to meet and pick up her new charge at 4pm.

She has read the brief, Zhou Jieqiong, Chinese, which would explain how Nayoung knows nothing of her, only started training full time about two years ago. Singing, dancing, variety skills - the company did not want to let her go and while a solo debut is still an investment, it is not quite as costly as a group.

Part of Nayoung wants to ask, then what about her, but she knows that a lot of the work the boys had done, that she had done for the boys in the past two years had changed attitudes, brought in money, made this possible.

Some nights she still wakes from a dream of being on stage, bright lights in her field of vision, cheers ringing in her ears. Nayoung knows it is foolish, shakes the thoughts out of her head as she parks the car in the back, takes the stairs two at a time.

She half expects the room to be empty - goodness knows it is hard enough to wrangle the boys out of the dorm on time, for them to be early is nigh unthinkable, so it comes as quite the surprise when the dance trainer and the girl she assumes must be Jieqiong both leap to their feet when she enters the room.

“Nayoung, this is Jieqiong.”

The first thing Nayoung notices is that Jieqiong is shorter than her, has the brightest eyes and a wide, open smile.

“Jieqiong, this is Nayoung. She’ll be your main manager. She’s been working with the guys and Main Manager Kim really didn’t want to give her up, so you’re in really good hands.”

Nayoung ducks her head shyly, watches as Jieqiong’s eyes widen, even light up much like how Dokyeom’s used to and thinks that this might just be alright.

* * *

One of the first things that strikes Nayoung once they are both in the car heading to Jieqiong’s new dorm is how much Jieqiong seems to like talking to people.

“Where are you from? Are you from Seoul?”

Click, they buckle their seatbelts.

“My parents live in Asan.”

“Isn’t that kind of far away?”

Nayoung shrugs, “not as far away as China.”

“Touche,” Jieqiong giggles.

“Are you going to be staying with me?”

“No.”

“Aw, but I like you. You’re cool.”

Nayoung’s grip tightens on the steering wheel. “We just met,” she says as they stop at a red light.

Jieqiong shrugs, “Sure, but you seem pretty cool. You’re also really tall.”

Nayoung doesn’t quite get what the link is between cool and tall but she doesn’t say anything.

“You don’t talk very much, do you?” Jieqiong has a broad grin on her face as she leans a little over.

Nayoung’s eyes flick over and she shakes her head.

“See, you’re pretty cool. I’m sure of that.”

* * *

She turns up at the apartment half an hour earlier than the agreed-upon time. It usually takes the boys a good twenty minutes to get out of bed and Jieqiong probably has to spend a little more time getting ready though they are about to go to the makeup shop so putting on makeup is kind of a waste of time.

In any case, Nayoung tugs the keys out of her pocket, unlocks the door and walks into the kitchen to see Jieqiong eating cereal, earphones in, scrolling through her phone.

Huh.

“Good morning,” she says.

The thankfully empty cereal bowl goes flying with a shriek and Jieqiong leaps up, holding the spoon out threateningly, one earbud dangling from the end of the wire.

“Oh, it’s just you,” She sags in relief when she sees Nayoung.

Nayoung hides a smile behind her hand, “Who did you think it was?”

“I don’t know, some kidnapper or something? A murderer?” Jieqiong waves the spoon at her, “a scary ad showed up on my phone last night and it was so scary and I’m all alone in this new house and then you-”

Nayoung sighs, interrupts her after a quick glance to her watch. “I’ll clean up here. Go get changed. We have a shoot in half an hour.”

Jieqiong puts the spoon down, picks the cereal bowl up from the floor, places it back on the table, shoots her a cheeky grin then disappears into her room.

Nayoung rinses the bowl, more out of habit than out of necessity since they get a cleaner to come and tidy, takes the opportunity to pour through some of the cupboards. Most are empty, not even a trace of an attempt to hide snacks.

The boys used to like to hide snacks in the craziest of places - she once saw Soonyoung pull a packet of something out of the rice bin - but this apartment is empty, practically bare but for a single box of cereal and a tiny litre of milk in the fridge.

She should get some fruit for the house at the very least.

* * *

The jacket shoot goes fabulously. Nayoung has to admit that Jieqiong’s understanding of camera angles is quite impressive. She readily takes direction, flits between alluring and adorable with the ease of a laugh, makes the staff feel comfortable by insisting on doing as much as she can.

Nayoung even catches her rummaging through her bag for snacks for someone who mentioned they had not yet had lunch, had to bat her hands away and make her go back to the makeup chair so they could continue.

“Unnie,” Jieqiong bounds up to her with a wide grin, “What are we having for lunch?”

Nayoung puts her phone down after confirming the next day’s schedule, “What do you want?”

“Anything,” Jieqiong beams, “whatever you want. Let’s get that.”

Nayoung raises her eyebrows, “Whatever I want?”

Jieqiong nods before she is pulled back to the set by a staff member, “I trust you!”

Nayoung has no idea if that means Chinese food or rice cakes so she settles for a very safe bento option.

* * *

“Unnie,” It has been two days and by now Nayoung knows to turn before Jieqiong reaches her lest the younger girl attempt to wind hands around her elbow, or worse, her waist.

“Yes?”

Jieqiong pouts when Nayoung fends her arms off.

Nayoung raises her eyebrows.

“Well, we just finished filming the MV, right?”

Nayoung nods.

“And there are a few days before we start practicing again for the showcase, right?”

Nayoung is not sure where this is going but she nods.

“Can we go shopping tomorrow?”

Nayoung checks her phone.

“You don’t have anything planned for tomorrow afternoon.”

“I know,” Jieqiong says, “You usually let me know what there is.”

“Then you can go shopping. Just be safe and wear a mask. You haven’t debuted yet nor have we released teaser images but it’d be better if you were safe,” Nayoung says, though Jieqiong’s hair is a very regular black, just a tad wavy but hardly eye-catching.

Jieqiong fiddles with her fingers, “Yeah, but can _we_ go shopping?”

Nayoung blinks, cocks her head to a side, cannot imagine why she should need to go shopping, also remembers that the boys’ manager had texted her for help since someone was sick this week and they could use an extra pair of hands, “I have work to do tomorrow afternoon.”

“O-Oh,” Jieqiong says, deflates a little before she straightens up, snaps into a salute outside her apartment door that had Nayoung smiling, “alright then. I’ll see you on Friday?”

Nayoung nods, feels the sudden urge to pat her on the head but decides to not act on it, “See you Friday.”

* * *

The boys crowd her immediately when she enters the room. Seungkwan even faux-wails dramatically that they had not seen Nayoung-noona in forever, forever, I tell you.

Her old boss even breathes an audible sigh of relief upon seeing her, claps her on the shoulder, passes her the keys to the van and for a moment, Nayoung feels like she has returned from what has been a rather strange break.

Until Seungcheol slides into the seat next to her, passes her a snack out of his pocket, “How’s she?”

Nayoung shrugs, “Jieqiong is a good kid.”

“Unlike us?”

Nayoung snorts, ticks off her fingers, “She wakes up on time, doesn’t complain at the shop, doesn’t fight me over lunch food, all the staff love her because she listens to their life stories. You tell me.”

He huffs, then sighs.

Nayoung smiles, “I do miss how loud you guys are though. Sometimes. The waiting room can be a little quiet.”

Seungcheol turns back, a slight frown, “You don’t talk?”

“We do. She invited me to go shopping with her today but Manager Kim needed me here.”

He raises his eyebrows.

Nayoung raises hers in a return question.

He shakes his head lightly then they start driving and the sounds of the younger boys in the back filter through.

Seungcheol smiles when someone yells something that sounds like “Nayoung-noona is the best we should just kidnap her.”

They reach their destination and Mingyu half-heartedly attempts to pull Nayoung out of the van with them. She rolls her eyes and Jun laughs at them.

“She might be lonely, you know,” Seungcheol says on his way out of the passenger’s seat, “I know I would be.”

* * *

A/N: Part 1 of at least 3.


	2. Speak to Me in Words

_Speak to Me in Words_

* * *

The preparations ramp up immediately.

Nayoung shuttles Jieqiong to the company building before being accosted by the others to settle schedules, prepare to send CDs out to various music shows, arrange meetings with various potentially interested shows.

Through this all she hears snippets of the song, catches part of the choreography as she walks in and out of practice, finds herself humming it in the car while Jieqiong sleeps.

It feels a little different than with the boys whose songs are upbeat and fast-paced and super slick coordinated moves, feels a little different because this could have been a song that she could have sung in a different life, in a different world.

Jieqiong sighs in her sleep and her head lolls slightly and Nayoung finds the corners of her lips turning upwards.

* * *

Nayoung returns to the waiting room after one last check for the debut showcase to find Jieqiong with her head in her hands.

“Hey,” she says softly, sits down next to her, “What’s the matter?”

Jieqiong sniffs, mumbles something into her hands.

Nayoung waits patiently for her to repeat herself.

“I’m scared,” Jieqiong mumbles, “What if I make a mistake? What if I screw it up? What if this is the one chance and it’s just going to disappear if I-”

“Hey,” Nayoung says, pats her arm gently, “You’ve practiced for months. You know this song inside and out. You’ve sung it in your sleep. You can do it.”

Jieqiong looks up at her with wide, watery eyes, “But-”

“You’ve sung it so many times in your sleep in the car that I can probably sing it in my sleep,” Nayoung says.

Jieqiong’s lips quiver.

Nayoung smiles.

Jieqiong deflates, sighs, “You’re right.”

Nayoung’s smile widens, “I tend to be.”

* * *

The lights flick on, the beat starts and Nayoung watches the monitor, transfixed, finds herself able to sing softly along to the words and wiggle her fingers to the moves, having seen them so many times and heard the song pretty much constantly for the past few weeks.

She has been trying her darnedest not to do this but for a moment, just for a fraction of a second when her eyes close and she blinks, just for that one single breath it feels like it could be her stage, her song, that it could all be hers.  
  
The moment passes, leaves a bitter aftertaste she cannot shake even as she watches Jieqiong’s gaze catch the camera and hold it captive.  
  
Jieqiong bounds off the stage with a wide grin after the music stops and as Nayoung passes her a bottle of water and bundles her away for their next schedule, she can still feel the shiver run down her spine from that first opening beat.

* * *

The rookie life is tiring, a lot of waking up super early for crazy early rehearsals, waiting for forever before shows, and then performing before small-ish groups of curious fans. The song never cracks anything above a 90 on most charts which means Nayoung spends a whole bunch of time scrambling around with a single in her hands, trying to get them into recordings or radio shows, constantly treads the fine line of ‘she’s foreign, that’s different’ and ‘she’s fluent I swear’.

(It is not a lie in any sense, because Jieqiong is foreign and is fluent enough in Korean, though the moments where she presses her cheek to Nayoung’s shoulder, points at something and asks how that is said in Korean still somehow have not decreased.)

She can see, however, that the idleness of just waiting between the music show recordings makes Jieqiong that fractionally uneasy though the fansigns they pepper between them on the weekends make her smile and calm her down.

Nayoung has noticed the number of fans with large cameras increasing, thinks briefly back to her days with the boys and is glad.

Then it comes.

“Hey,” she turns, bows immediately to the casting director who pauses, “you're Zhou Jieqiong’s manager, right?”

Nayoung nods, scrambles in her bag for the extra copy of the single she knows she has.

He holds out a hand, “No, it's alright, we already have a copy but can you put me in contact with her? What’s she doing on Monday?”

Nayoung pauses, remembers that the show records on Fridays.

“She has an existing schedule, I’m sorry.”

“A-Ah,” he says.

* * *

The doorbell rings and Jieqiong rolls over, checks her phone.

It is Monday.

She has no schedules on Monday, no music shows to record for, just well, nothing. She pushes her face into her pillow, wiggles it around for a bit to see if the thoughts will go away, or if whoever is pushing the doorbell will go away but neither do so she eventually gets out of bed, makes sure she has pants on (she does) and wanders out of her room.

And shrieks because someone is in her kitchen and oh god she does not have anything she can use to defend herself with and she really should have taken at least some level of wushu or taekwondo like her mother told her to and-

“N-Nayoung-unnie?!”

Nayoung-unnie waves a plastic bag weakly.

Jieqiong admits that she has quite a loud high voice, feels a little guilty for shrieking but to be honest she is never going to get used to someone just _being_ in her kitchen.

“Is there a schedule? Am I late? I’m so sorry I didn’t-”

Nayoung shakes her head, her eyes dart to the side, “No, there isn’t anything today I just thought-” _I just thought I’d make sure that you aren’t seen anywhere outside today since I said you were busy even though you aren’t._

She watches Jieqiong’s eyes light up as the smell of food wafts out of the plastic bag, “Is that _breakfast?!_ ”

She nods.

Jieqiong practically squeals.

Nayoung finds her lips turning up at the corners as she clears a section of the kitchen table and places the bag down. She takes in the glasses, frayed pajama pants, stray strands of hair sticking out and frowns.

“Go wash up. I’ll reheat the food.”

Jieqiong beams, nods quickly, and scurries off into the bathroom.

Nayoung sighs.

* * *

“So,” Jieqiong smiles, drying the bowl that Nayoung had passed to her from the sink, “the boys didn’t need you today?”

Nayoung pauses, nudges her own glasses up with the slightly less soapy back of her hand, shakes her head.

“Then,” she hears the clink of the bowl contacting the shelf as it is put away, “then do you not have anywhere you need to be?”

Nayoung passes her the last two chopsticks, shakes her head again.

“Okie,” Jieqiong says and Nayoung can practically hear her smile.

She hides her own growing smile away.

* * *

Some drama plays in the background while Nayoung fiddles with her phone on the couch. Jieqiong has retreated briefly to her room, looking for something though it really does just seem like an excuse to escape the air of awkwardness that hangs around them.

Nayoung usually enjoys watching dramas and finds it easy to fall really deeply into them but is has been difficult to ignore the slightly confused questioning looks that Jieqiong had been shooting her.

And now, now Nayoung fiddles with her phone. There are few numbers in it, few numbers that she has the liberty of just texting, at any rate, since a whole bunch of them are from various broadcasting companies, both from her time with the boys and now with Jieqiong. Her mother, her father, her older brother, ah.

_Hey._ She sends it, hopes they have not changed their number in the past few years without telling her, wonders if she will get a response.

Her phone vibrates.

_Nayoung-unnie, right?!_

_Yes, it’s me._

_Oh hey! I haven’t heard from you in so long! The boys are doing so well, you must be so proud~ Though I haven’t seen blurred out pictures of you in a long while - are you just hiding better?_

_Ah, about that, I’m not working with them anymore._

_Oh?_

_Yeah. I’m working with a new soloist, Zhou Jieqiong._

_Oh, the cute Chinese one?_

_...I suppose._

_Heh. We like her._

_...we?_

_Kyungwon says she’s cute._

_Oh, Kyungwon’s there too? Say hi to her for me._

_HI UNNIE. YES. Minkyung thinks she’s cute too even if she won’t say it._

_Ah._

_You don’t think she’s cute, unnie?_

Nayoung blinks down at her phone as Jieqiong putters back into the living room, what looks like color pencils and a coloring book in her hand. Jieqiong puts them down on the coffee table, sits down on the floor next to it, flips it open to a half-done page and just starts coloring in nail polish bottles, pausing from time to time to nibble on the end of a marker cap.

_Gotta go._

_Pft._

Nayoung watches her hands move slowly across the page.

* * *

Nayoung wakes up on the couch to a ray of sunlight on her face.

She sits up with a start - _Jihoon_ \- ah.

A blanket falls off of her shoulders and she turns to see Jieqiong blinking owlishly at her from behind round wire-rimmed glasses.

“You- uh-”

“I-” They start at the same time.

“Oh, you first,” Nayoung says, “you were going to say something.”

Jieqiong shakes her head.

“I uh-guess I fell asleep,” Nayoung does not know what her mouth is saying because clearly she fell asleep and that is obvious so there was no need to say it.

Jieqiong nods.

Nayoung shoots a glance at the clock.

“Oh did you have anything for lunch?”

Jieqiong shakes her head, “I was going to wake you in about half an hour to ask what you wanted.”

She grins, “But you woke up so I guess I don't have to wake you.”

“It's three,” Nayoung says.

Jieqiong shrugs, “Wasn't very hungry.”

Her stomach growls and she flushes bright red.

Nayoung bites back a _you're adorable_ and just nods instead.

“So.”

Nayoung raises her eyebrows.

Jieqiong pouts, “What _do_ you want for lunch?”

“Whatever you want,” Nayoung finds herself saying.

“You keep saying that,” Jieqiong laughs but the smile lingers on her face.

* * *

The food arrives and they eat in contented silence. The last time they measured her the numbers were fine and Nayoung trusts that Jieqiong knows enough about how food works with her body to eat appropriately. Or maybe, she might later admit, she cannot bring herself to care right this moment with the two of them digging into what must be at least three meals worth of Chinese food in the middle of the kitchen table.

Jieqiong appears to be attempting to sneak glances at her when the other thinks she is not looking. Nayoung finds that strangely endearing.

“Is there something on my face?”

“Wha-Wh- No,” Jieqiong splutters into a dumpling.

Nayoung raises her eyebrows.

“Uhm,”Jieqiong mumbles, “you just looked like you like the food.”

“I do.”

Jieqiong nods, then gets up abruptly, “I-I'm going to get water, do you want any?”

Nayoung eyes Jieqiong’s half full glass of Sprite and her own can of Coke, hides a smile behind a spoonful of soup, “I'm good, thanks.”

* * *

Jieqiong is the one who falls asleep after their not-quite-lunch-not-quite-dinner, head drooped over the coffee table, marker cap pressed into her cheek. That will leave a mark but Nayoung does not quite have the heart to wake her up - rest is a precious commodity in this industry after all.

Instead she sits back on the couch, turns the TV volume down, finds her eyes wandering around the small apartment.

It is just fractionally larger than the one she currently stays in - complete with outdated paint job and hand me down furniture. Jieqiong has managed to squeeze in a some splashes of homeliness in the form of small stuffed animals guarding the media console, a smattering of Polaroids on the fridge, a cardigan hanging haphazardly over the back of a chair, color pencils strewn across the table.

Nayoung wonders if this mess also extends to her bedroom, if there are piles of clothes that she could perhaps help put into the wash. She vaguely remembers giving Jieqiong a pair of red bunny pajama pants, wonders if she would find them tucked far down in the recesses of her drawers, or if it is dangling off the edge of the bed.

Nayoung wants to know, now that she has thought about it, now that the idea has sunk its claws in and does not want to leave.

She wants to know.

And she could go in, could flex those manager muscles and say something about organizing. (And she would organize too, no lie there.)

But she knows she should not, so she does not.

She sinks further into the couch, watches the slow rise and fall of every breath, finds herself trailing her eyes across the messy strands of hair, understands the hollering, the fans, the admiration, the l-

Nayoung’s phone buzzes.

They want her at the company for a quick debrief, have factored in the time it would take for her to get from her place to the company building which means she has about a half hour more to stay right where she is.

She could sit around, could sit and wait out the time, wait and watch. She catches her own hand extending out to pat Jieqiong on the head.

She could sit here for longer, but instead, Nayoung catches herself, leaves a note on the table then heads out the door.

That was close.


	3. Through My Fingers

One thing good about working with a single soloist is that their schedules are vaguely manageable - Jieqiong cannot physically be in multiple places at once which means that Nayoung occasionally gets days or at least evenings off after dropping her off at the dorm.

Today is one of those days. 

Jieqiong had just finished her first radio schedule, giggled along with the host who might now be slightly enamored or at least vaguely intrigued (beyond the usual pleasantries) and after dropping her off at the dorm, Nayoung has nothing to do for the next full day.

The light turns green and she steps lightly on the gas, hears the engine rev over well, nothing. Neither the usual chatter nor occasional light snoring.

Nayoung turns the radio on. 

Her phone buzzes then runs out of battery but that's alright because there are no schedules for the next day.

\---

Nayoung cracks the door to her apartment open, puts her bag down by the door, closes it and locks it behind her and then basically all but flops onto her bed.

She should probably wash up and change out of pajamas but she had not realized just how tired she had actually been over the past few days, had not realized the extent to which she has been running on fumes that have now all but fizzled out because there are no more schedules and she can finally, finally rest.

It is still dark when she opens her eyes again. For a brief moment Nayoung panics and the fear that she has literally slept the entire day away and is now late starts to creep into her heart.

Then her bedside clock blinks 04:38

Aw damn it.

Nayoung rolls over and tries to fall back asleep but it does not work. Napping for seven hours tends to do that to a person.

She finally gives up ten minutes later, sits up in her now-rumpled shirt. There is probably an imprint on her skin running all the way from her waist to her ankle from the seam of the jeans that she is still wearing.

Tossing on more comfortable clothes has her sitting cross-legged on the floor, laptop beside her, about to do the one thing she probably should not do while half-asleep.

Nayoung types in Zhou Jieqiong and starts reading comments on the Internet.

She gets through the little fragment of xenophobia fairly quickly - most seem fond of Jieqiong for having put in this much effort to master Korean - the odd ‘she's  _ not _ Korean?!’ comment appearing from time to time makes her hold back a giggle.

Her logical side says she is doing this because she is Jieqiong’s manager and it is always good to get a finger on the pulse, to touch base with the ground and get a feel for things to do and things to avoid.

The other side suggests she is a masochist though the thought flits away quickly when she reads a comment that says, quite simply, that Jieqiong was born to be a celebrity.

Nayoung sits back a little, realizes that she does not disagree at all, realizes that it does not sting in the slightest.

Huh. Interesting.

She keeps reading.

\---

When her alarm clock goes the next day, Nayoung realizes with a start that her phone is dead.

She must have forgotten to charge it, still only has a vague recollection of where she had tossed it yesterday but she really only needs to be back at the office and she could drive there in her sleep (not literally).

She finds her usual spot right in the back of the small street, walks the two blocks into the company and comes face to face with a really pouty Jieqiong.

“Hi.”

“You ignored me.”

“Huh?” 

Jieqiong jabs a finger at the phone in Nayoung's hand that is only now turning on from the little bit of charge it had gotten from her car.

“I texted you.”

“Oh,” Nayoung says, “oh. Sorry.”

Jieqiong looks a little hurt and does not speak to her as she usually would as they walk back to the company car.

Every time she catches Nayoung looking at her, she turns away with a twitch of her nose and a soft  _ hmph _ .

Nayoung knows she should be annoyed but for some reason she just finds this amusing and a tad cute.

“Buckle your seat belt,” she says.

“I was gonna,” Jieqiong mumbles, almost as if she were about to stick out her tongue at Nayoung.

Nayoung smiles, reaches over, and ruffles her hair, “Sorry I didn't read your texts.”

Jieqiong squawks and turns bright red.

Nayoung's smile only grows.

\---

“So.”

Nayoung looks up from her phone to Jieqiong sitting in the waiting room. The stylists have headed home for the day - this radio appearance is not even viewable so they don't need to be there.

“Dinner?”

Nayoung nods, “After this. The noodle place you like closes late, we should be able to make it.”

Jieqiong looks like the words have been taken out of her mouth, then purses her lips before saying, “I'm still mad.”

Nayoung chuckles as the door to the recording room opens.

“Go get ‘em, tiger.”

Jieqiong glares at her but there is no heat behind it.

\---

“And just how did you learn a dialect?”

“Oh, the stylist-unnies taught it to me. And my manager-unnie falls back into it when she's sleepy. It's really cute. Manager-unnie, are you listening?”

Is she listening?

Is Nayoung desperately looking for a hole to crawl into?

The answer to both questions is the same.

Nayoung wants to half bury her face in her hands from sheer embarrassment and half pat Jieqiong on the back for a job well done when the radio show host laughs along.

Jieqiong flounces out of the room later, after having bowed about twenty times in thanks to the radio show host, then shoots her an incredibly smug look.

“Dinner?” 

Nayoung resists the urge to give her a noogie.

\---

Nayoung buys Jieqiong’s favorite noodles, sets them down in front of her, watches as she looks up from her phone with a sly grin. Jieqiong had been uncharacteristically quiet in the car ride, not even the usual ‘what should I get for dinner’ nor ‘what time do I need to be up tomorrow and why is it so early’.

“Are you still mad?” 

Jieqiong’s grin widens, “No. Were you worried?”

Nayoung rolls her eyes, “Shut up and eat.”

Jieqiong sticks her tongue out. Nayoung gently thwacks her head and she whines.

They both smile.

\---

“Are you rea-” 

The door swings open, Jieqiong tugs nervously at her mask.

Nayoung eyes the oversized sweater, jeans and sneakers, nods.

“You look nice,” Jieqiong says.

Nayoung arches an eyebrow but tugs self-consciously at her coat, “You're not too bad yourself.”

Jieqiong beams and latches onto her elbow, “just not too bad?” 

Nayoung looks down, “It's an off-day. I'm not obligated to say things to make you feel good about yourself when I'm not working.”

Jieqiong’s mouth falls open, she looks like she is about to splutter.

Nayoung smiles, gently elbows her, “Just kidding.”

“You'd better be kidding!”

Nayoung does not really know why she agreed to this. She could be sleeping. She could be doing laundry. Or organizing her room. Or washing her bedding.

Instead here she is, at ten in the morning on an off-day, standing outside her charge’s apartment door, about to go out shopping. Well, to be fair, Jieqiong had pretty much wheedled all week long, made all sorts of promises that she would behave if only they went shopping on the weekend.

Jieqiong kind of already behaves so Nayoung does not really know what she means but if it means something even better she'll take it. And besides, she does need to get a new beanie. Her old one is… somewhere.

Jieqiong tugs on her hand and Nayoung lets her.

\---

This is a terrible idea, Nayoung thinks.

This is a terrible, terrible idea and she should just ditch Jieqiong and go home. It has been five hours and there are no signs that they are going to be stopping at any time. Thank the heavens she had decided to wear trainers because she can at least still have skin on the back of her heels even if she can barely feel her toes from the amount of walking they have done in the past half day.

“Nayoung-unnie!”

Nayoung turns to the dressing room, slowly shuffles towards Jieqiong who somehow manages to look simultaneously excited about the clothes and a little grumpy at how slowly Nayoung is moving.

“What do you think about this?” 

Nayoung nods.

Jieqiong frowns.

“What's that nod supposed to mean?” 

Nayoung shrugs, “it looks good on you.”

“See, that's better.”

Nayoung shrugs again, “Most things do. I don't know why you're even asking.”

Jieqiong's mouth falls open before she catches herself with a, “But that's not how shopping works!”

Nayoung really just wants to find a beanie and go home but she lets Jieqiong drag her around until dinner.

\---

“You're going to need to be more careful with her, Nayoung.”

The staff slide a phone over the table. There is a picture of Jieqiong laughing and the back of Nayoung's head.

Nayoung remembers this shop. Nothing in there had had reasonably matching colors and somehow Jieqiong had managed to persuade her to try on an eighty dollar beanie that was yellow and pink striped.

*Well, not that she should not go out at all, but you should at least have her wear a face mask if she is going to go out with this little makeup on. Can't have the public seeing this.”

Nayoung does not quite understand what the staff mean by this because to be entirely honest, Jieqiong’s relatively eyebrow-less bare face definitely has its charms too. Well, she does get it. Jieqiong is an idol and there are appearances to keep up.

“How should I enforce this?”

The staff level her with a serious gaze.

Oh.

\---

“Hi.”

Jieqiong shrieks at 5 in the morning, jumps and flails as she crosses the hall on her way to the bathroom. All she had wanted to do was pee and then go back to sleep. For goodness’ sake Nayoung-unnie is going to give her a heart attack one of these days.

_ Or you’ll get used to it. _

“Can you-must you keep- it's too early for this, why, what-”

Nayoung giggles, “Good morning to you too.”

She waves feebly, trying very hard to think of what she could be expected to be attending at this hour but nothing comes to mind.

The only radio appearance she had managed the last time had been fine but not particularly stellar, nothing much had changed.

Nayoung just stands there and looks back at her.

Then Jieqiong notices the suitcase next to Nayoung and suddenly she is wide awake.

“Are you moving in?”

Nayoung’s eyes dart around.

She nods.

Jieqiong squeals, pounces at her, and forgets that she needed to use the bathroom.

\---

It turns out that all Nayoung-unnie does at home is watch dramas and sleep. And occasionally eat.

Jieqiong finds that she does not quite mind, curls up in a ball on the couch with her phone and plays games while really soppy love confessions play out on the screen.

She looks up at a sniffle.

Nayoung is dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.

“Are you-” 

Nayoung looks mournfully like she wants to disappear into the tissue in her hand so Jieqiong does not press the issue, just picks the tissue box up and passes it to her.

Nayoung mumbles something in gratitude.

Jieqiong is torn between wanting to ask just what made her cry and patting her awkwardly on the back so she just settles for slowly moving closer and well, looking at Nayoung.

A sudden urge to protect her wells up and Jieqiong hurriedly squashes it down. Nayoung-unnie is awfully adorable though, and even more so when flustered.

“W-What?”

Jieqiong smiles, “Nothing.”

\---

“She's a good kid,” a PD says to her after they record a small segment of a small show, “and you're a pretty good manager. It's been a pleasure.”

Nayoung bows her head in thanks.

“As a word of caution though,” he says, “we invited her here because she is easy to love. You have to make sure she isn't too easy to love or you'll have a lot of trouble on your hands.”

Nayoung swallows.

Jieqiong goes on stage the next day and Nayoung realizes two things, the first that there are indeed many eyes on Jieqiong, and the second, that the stage lights no longer make her heart pound the same way.

Try as she might she no longer sees herself standing there, no longer imagines the crowds, thinks only of the arrangements it takes to get one onto that stage, of the smiling eyes and nose scrunch, of hair falling perfectly in place and a sultry look from beneath lashes and that is not her, not her at all.

She does not know if she should laugh or cry, decides to wait till Jieqiong falls asleep that night and drinks an entire bottle of soju at one go. 

She realizes idly that it does nothing more than make the world spin a little, that her old dream is dead and gone and that somehow she might just eventually be alright with watching Jieqiong on stage.

She debates going out to get properly drunk but then her phone buzzes with the reminder that they have a schedule the next day and Nayoung wants to laugh and cry at the same time so she just falls asleep. There will be time to walk and think in the morning. She needs to be awake to drive.

\---

“Where are you going?”

Nayoung freezes.

Jieqiong giggles. 

“Are you actually sneaking out?” She gestures to Nayoung's hoodie and face mask.

Nayoung nods fractionally.

Jieqiong laughs, “I won't tell on you, unnie. You don't have to hide.”

Nayoung shrugs.

“Where are you going though? It's pretty late.”

“For a walk,” Nayoung says.

“You walk at 5 in the morning?”

Nayoung nods.

“I guess it's safe,” Jieqiong shrugs, “Well, have a good time!”

Nayoung opens her mouth, wants to say something like,  _ come with? _

Then she closes her mouth, realizes that having Jieqiong is not going to help at all, tugs her shoes on and closes the door behind her.

She hears it click shut, hears a soft whistle start from the inside and has to hold herself back from turning the doorknob again.

Instead, she shoves her hands in her pockets and strides out to the elevator.

\---

“Unnie,” Jieqiong says from the kitchen two days later.

Nayoung pauses, zips up her parka.

“Are you going out again?”

She nods.

“C-Can I go too?”

Nayoung takes in Jieqiong’s pajamas, “You might want to put on something warmer.”

Jieqiong’s grin is blinding.

\---

The Han River has always been Nayoung's refuge. She does not remember when she first started coming here but she does not remember a time when she has not come here, played with the water that slowly washes in, listened to the sounds of the birds and the city behind her. 

Jieqiong fidgets.

Nayoung smiles.

“You know,” she says, “I always come here when I want to think.”

“Ah,” says Jieqiong, “Wednesday too?” 

Nayoung nods.

“Did it help?” 

Nayoung shrugs.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Nayoung's first reaction is to say no, but the Han River had a way of making her honest.

“I was a trainee once,” Nayoung says, “so I used to watch your stages and kind of just think about what it was like. Lately I find that I haven't been noticing it that so much, so I took some time to think.”

She lets the  _ you look so happy, it just looks so right _ , hang unsaid.

“Oh,” says Jieqiong.

Nayoung shrugs, waits for her to say something but the silence dangles in the air and not even the soft rustle of the water on the rocks manages to hide the lack of response.

“I didn't know,” Jieqiong says minutes later, as she slowly sinks down to rest her head on the railing, the cold metal probably making an imprint on her forehead - Nayoung knows she should reach out and stop her but the two feet that separates them now just seems too far, her hands too heavy.

“It wasn't relevant,” Nayoung says finally.

Jieqiong whirls around, eyes flashing though she is still gathered in a crouch, “but it was, wasn't it? How could it not be? How could it not be painful for you to stand there and watch me and not-not want to be there and just-I-”

In that moment Nayoung realizes how far gone she is, that these words which would have hurt before now just wash straight over.

She smiles a small smile, shrugs the lie into her bones.

Jieqiong looks to be on the verge of tears. 

“And  _ I _ did that to you,” comes the choked whisper, “Because of me you've been- Why?” 

Nayoung shrugs and says nothing even though her answer dances on the tip of her tongue. 

She swallows it down.

Jieqiong looks devastated and it is all Nayoung wants to do to gather her into a hug but she just lets Jieqiong turn her face away and wipe her tears away in the wind.

Nayoung's fingers twitch, close over air.

Later, they walk back to the dorm in silence, the same two feet separating them.

Nayoung tells herself that this is for the best.T


	4. Even If We Could Turn Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even if we could turn back, we'd probably never end up where we started - Murakami, 1Q84

_ She said she used to be a trainee. _

_ Yeah _ , comes the reply,  _ I’d heard about that with the boys. There were rumors that she dated some of them but she’s cute so no one really complained. Also she probably didn’t actually. There’s no way the company would have let her manage them if that had happened. _

_ Oh. But that means she had the same dream. And she’s just- _

_ Jieqiong, tons of people had the same dream. I had the same dream and now I’m writing music. For your sorry ass. It happens. _

_ Yeah but writing music and being a manager is different. You’re still creating, you’ve always wanted to create. She’s just… watching me. _

_...Are you being an ungrateful brat now? You of all people should know how hard she works to shuttle your butt around and make sure you don’t die. _

_ No! You know that’s not what I- _

_ Kidding, dumbass. Breathe. I know what you mean. She chose this path. Or it chose her. Or something else happened. Who knows. The world is like that. It’s not your fault. _

_ Yeah but- _

_ It’s not. Even if you have the biggest fattest crush on her. _

_ I do not. _

_ Pft. Uh huh. You tell that to yourself. I’ve already heard so much about her I’m surprised you’re not either dating or she’s not run away yet from how annoyingly clingy you are. But really. Go dry your eyes and go outside and go apologize. _

_ Wha-How-I’m not crying. _

_ Liar. _

_ I’m already done sniffling though. Sungyeon, you’re the worst. _

_ No, you’re the idiot. Seriously though, go out there and apologize for being a presumptuous ass that assumed that you caused her pain. _

_ She said she used to watch me and think about what it was like. _

_ Oh. _

_ See. _

_ Well, that does sort of change things. _

_ Sungyeonnnnnn. What does that mean? _

_ That means you definitely don’t deserve her. _

_ I-I know. _

_ Ok fine, you might. Maybe just a little. If you behave. You’re so silly, you know. _

_ That’s why you love me. _

_ I do not love you. _

_ Fine. When are you coming back/visiting? I haven’t seen you in a long time. I miss you. A little. _

_ I landed 3 hours ago. _

_ You. What. You didn’t say you were coming. I’m so betrayed. _

_ Woman where do you live again? Do you have security? You do have security right? He’s giving me this look like I’m not supposed to be here. I guess I’m not supposed to be here. _

_ … _

_ Yes, I’m downstairs. Come get me. Hurry up. _

Jieqiong snorts, rubs her nose, throws on sweatpants and a sweatshirt, walks out into the living room. Nayoung is not on the couch, only the dim light of the Squirtle lamp she got from a fan greets her.

Sure enough, as she slips her feet into her shoes, Nayoung’s door cracks open.

“Where are you going?”

“Just downstairs. A friend is here to visit.”

Nayoung raises her eyebrows, “You know you can just buzz them up?”

“I can… what?”

Nayoung flicks her gaze to the metal panel on the wall right next to Jieqiong’s head that says 1 missed call.

The system rings. Jieqiong jumps. Nayoung’s eyebrows retreat further into her hairline as she strides over.

“Y-yes?” Jieqiong’s hands fly over the panel looking for some button to press. Nayoung finds it immediately.

“Is this apartment 17-32?”

“Speaking,” Nayoung says from over Jieqiong’s shoulder, her hair tickling Jieqiong’s ear, “we’re expecting a guest. Feel free to send them up.”

Jieqiong swallows, acutely aware of how close they are right now.

“Yes ma’am,” the security guard says before they hang up.

Nayoung takes a step back, takes in Jieqiong’s mismatched sweatshirt and sweatpants, “This isn’t going to lead to something I’m going to have to pretend to not hear, is it?”

Pretend not to- Oh. Jieqiong flushes beet red, “Wh-What? No! I would never. Not in a shared- no.”

Nayoung’s smile is small but soft, “Alright. Didn’t think so anyway from what you’re wearing. I’ll be in my room. Don’t stay up too late. You have a small schedule tomorrow afternoon. Your friend can crash on the couch if they want.”

Jieqiong nods.

Nayoung sighs then ruffles Jieqiong’s hair, gently pats her head, “You worry too much, silly.”

Her door closes behind her.

\---

“So she’s in her room?” Sungyeon sits cross-legged on Jieqiong’s bed, hair damp from the shower, in the pair of red bunny pajamas that Jieqiong had just washed.

Jieqiong nods.

“So you like, live together.”

Jieqiong groans.

“Oh, you’re so screwed.”

“I-”

Sungyeon snickers.

“I get why you overreacted now. You have it bad.”

“You haven’t seen her. She’s so cute and sweet. It’s not my fault.”

Sungyeon shrugs, “I’ve seen her. Fansites don’t always blur out managers very well. She is quite cute.”

Jieqiong nods mournfully.

“You do know,” Sungyeon says, pauses, “that she’s supposed to be nice to you, right?”

“Yes,” Jieqiong mumbles.

“Because she’s your manager. And her being nice to you gets you to cooperate.”

“Yes.”

“So you know,” Sungyeon gestures, “it’s not really because she like, likes you or anything.”

“I know,” Jieqiong puts her head in her hands, “I’ve known that the whole time. I’m crushing, I’m not crazy. I’m not delusional. I know she doesn’t-I know.”

Sungyeon pats her gently, “Oh you. What am I gonna do with you?”

Jieqiong sniffles.

\---

Jet lag is brutal, thinks Sungyeon as she sneaks out of Jieqiong’s room in search of water. There must be water in the fridge or she can just get a cup of tap water or something.

She is halfway through filling up an adorable Pororo mug when the door to the other bedroom opens and the person who has got to be Nayoung steps out in a set of really adorable pajamas, long auburn hair tied in a loose ponytail, “What did I say about- oh, hello.”

Sungyeon dips her head, “Hi, I’m Sungyeon, Jieqiong’s friend.”

“Nayoung, her manager.”

Her grip is cool but strong, her gaze steely but warm. Sungyeon respects that.

“Getting water?”

Sungyeon shrugs, “Jet lag is a bitch.”

Nayoung nods, “Let me know if you need extra bedding for the couch.”

Sungyeon grins. 

“Nah, we’re good. Thanks.”

\---

“You’re not staying for longer?”

Sungyeon shakes her head, “As amusing as that would be, no. I don’t want to share your bed again. One night of your fist in my face and your pointy elbows in my side was more than enough for me. And you hog the blankets. Ugh.”

“You could sleep on the couch.”

“Jieqiong,” Sungyeon says, “I can afford to pay for a hotel. Besides, I’m just going to go to my grandma’s place. I don’t want to sleep on your couch.”

Jieqiong opens her mouth.

Sungyeon cuts her off, “I’m sure it’s a great couch. I just don’t want to sleep on it.”

Jieqiong pouts.

Sungyeon rolls her eyes, “You sure you’re older than me?”

“I’ll miss you,” Jieqiong mumbles.

“Yeah well,” Sungyeon says, “I’m going to be in Seoul for the next couple of months at least so you have plenty of time to not miss me.”

“You’ll be busy.”

“Busy writing songs for your next album, yes,” Sungyeon sighs, “so you’ll get to see me anyway. And you’re the idol. You’re supposed to be the busy one. I’m just the one that’s going to be stuck in the recording studio the whole day waiting to be rescued.”

“As if taking you out of the studio would be rescuing you.”

A knock on the door, then Nayoung clears her throat, “Sorry to interrupt but Jieqiong, you have to be out of the house soon.”

“C-Coming!”

“You taught her to say your name properly,” Sungyeon raises her eyebrows, whispers, “Oh yes, you’ve definitely got it bad.”

Jieqiong whacks her on the shoulder.

\---

“Your… friend,” Nayoung says in the car.

Jieqiong clicks her seatbelt, “Sungyeon?”

Nayoung nods, “Is she going to be staying with us for a long time?”

_ Us. _

Jieqiong immediately wipes the thought out of her head because she’s just crushing, she’s not going to be delusional or obsessed, well, not anymore than she already is, “She’s going to her grandma’s tonight. Said that I hogged the blankets.”

Nayoung snorts, “You do?”

“I… guess?”

“Don’t look like it,” Nayoung says.

“Is that a good thing?”

“I don’t know,” Nayoung shrugs, though a smile dances on her lips, “you tell me.”

\---

Nayoung misses the door opening as she pours through the relatively empty schedule for the next week, waiting for Jieqiong to be released from the filming.

This time Jieqiong descends on her without any warning whatsoever, wraps hands around her waist and lays her chin on her shoulder. Nayoung almost jumps and swipes at her but instead just turns, waits for Jieqiong to say something.

Their eyes meet, way too close. Even without those lenses, her eyes draw Nayoung in like the call of the sea.

Nayoung can feel her heart beating but Jieqiong still has not said anything.

“Hey,” Nayoung says.

Jieqiong blinks, averts her eyes, “I'm sorry.”

Oh crud, Nayoung thinks, was there something she missed by not listening? Was this the one time she decided she could trust Jieqiong to not say anything wrong and then-

She moves to get up, disentangles Jieqiong’s limbs from her body, feels the warmth disappear, “Has the PD left?” 

Jieqiong stares confusedly back at her, “I think they're still there?” 

“What did you say that we need to make amends for?” 

“Huh?” 

Nayoung raises her eyebrows, “Well, then what are you apologizing for?”

“Oh,” Jieqiong shakes her head, puts the remainder of her stuff into her bag and hefts it to her shoulder, “Nothing.”

Nayoung frowns but follows her out of the room.

\---

_ Hey, are you going to be at the K Studio later? Because Kyungwon's landed herself a gig mixing for some radio and we saw Jieqiong’s name on the guest list. _

_ Kyungwon mixes? _

_ Well, she does now. _

_ Yes, we'll be there. Should I coordinate directly with her? _

_ Nah, I'll be hanging out in the area. She'll be too busy to text. _

_ Alright. We're heading over. _

_ Cool. See you soon. _

\---

Sure enough, Minkyung is tucked away in a corner when they arrive. She waves at Nayoung but lets the radio staff, Kyungwon included, bustle Jieqiong into the other room. It is only when the door clicks shut and the recording light turns on that she sidles slowly, deliberately up to Nayoung.

“So,” Minkyung says, “She's really cute.”

Nayoung raises her eyebrows.

“You've seen that jawline,” Minkyung sighs, “those eyes and that nose. And you'd think it’d be impossible but she's even cuter in person. Holy moly. How is she even real?”

Nayoung’s eyebrows recede even further into her hairline.

“Aw, c'mon, don't tell me you haven't noticed,” Minkyung nudges her.

“I mean,” Nayoung says, “She's certainly attractive.”

Minkyung rolls her eyes, “Yes. And?”

“And?”

Minkyung huffs, “Well, is she dating anyone? Does she like girls? Have you had to stop any boys from trying to get close to her?”

Nayoung blinks.

Minkyung’s jaw drops.

“No? No one? Oh this is such a travesty. I'm going to ask her out once she comes out of those doors. A face like that and a cute personality and no one's asked her out? She's got to be wondering if anything is wrong.”

“You really shouldn't.”

“Well, ok, fine, not right when she comes out of those doors and not in public,” Minkyung says, “I'm not stupid. But I'm guessing you're going to have to grab food after this since it's already past dinner time? And Kyungwon will need feeding too.”

Nayoung nods warily.

“That's settled then. I'll buy you two dinner and then ask her out. Oh, I'm so excited.”

“Kim Minkyung,” Nayoung says, “What on earth are you talking about? You haven’t even really met her. You don’t even do things like this.”

A twinkle grows in Minkyung’s eye and a smirk on her lips.

“You'll see.”

\---

“That's it?”

Jieqiong bats her eyelids in what has got to be  her best I'm-an-idol-we-only-drink-dew-from-the-leaves-at-dawn impression. Which clearly does not fool Nayoung because she had demolished an entire bowl of ramen during lunch and then asked about dessert.

“It would be rude,” she says, “to impose on your friend.”

Minkyung hides a laugh behind her hand.

Nayoung rolls her eyes, “Alright. I'll get some soup and two of the kimbap rolls for when this little demon gets hungry later.”

“H-Hey!”

Nayoung ruffles Jieqiong's hair as she stands up to go order.

Kyungwon beams, “Thanks Nayoung!” 

“You go help her hold the food,” Minkyung laughs, “I have a few questions for Jieqiong here.”

Kyungwon rolls her eyes but stands up.

Nayoung sighs, “Don't say anything stupid?” 

“Who?” 

“Both of you.”

Jieqiong pouts. Minkyung smirks.

\---

“So,” Minkyung says, “Nayoung said you live together?”

Jieqiong nods.

“Is she still the same, you walk out for water in the middle of the night and she’s there in the living room in her pajamas watching some drama on the TV with the sound really low and crying into a tissue?”

Jieqiong nods vigorously, eyes wide.

Minkyung laughs, “Oh, that Nayoung. She really hasn’t changed, huh.”

Her eyes flick over to the long line that Nayoung and Kyungwon are standing in. Nayoung seems absorbed in something Kyungwon is saying. Good, good. She turns her attention back to Jieqiong with a sly smirk.

“So how’s the idol life?”

Jieqiong shrugs, “It’s, nice?”

Minkyung raises her eyebrows, “Just nice? Which idols have you met?”

Jieqiong’s eyes light up, “I got to shake hands with Taeyeon-sunbaenim. And greeted Hyuna-sunbaenim. And I’m still kind of sad that I missed IU-sunbaenim by two weeks but well...”

“Any… boys? I won’t tell Nayoung. She wouldn’t get it anyway. And you’re an idol, you’re bound to meet them.”

Jieqiong shakes her head so vigorously it just might fall off, then pauses, “Well, Urban Zakapa-sunbaenim were so cool but I didn’t really get to say much besides greet them.”

“Ah,” Minkyung says.

Jieqiong nods, “If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know Nayoung-unnie?”

Minkyung’s smirk returns, “Oh, Kyungwon and I went to college with her. Well, for the like, five months that she attended college for. But I’m just a boring old college student. Tell me more about yourself. You’re from China?”

Jieqiong nods, presumably about to start explaining her casting process which Minkyung already knows because the internet is full of very useful information. Casted when she was on the streets of Shanghai, yada yada.

Minkyung leans forward instead, “Do they make angels where you come from?”

Jieqiong flushes bright red, “S-Sorry?”

Oh she’s too cute. This is too easy. Minkyung leans closer, “Well, do they?”

“I-I don’t think so?”

“Really? Wouldn't be able to tell.”

The tips of Jieqiong’s ears go scarlet. Minkyung has to do her best to restrain herself from pinching those cheeks, instead props her face on her hand, “Can I get your number?” 

“Y-You could just get it from Nayoung-unnie.”

Minkyung shrugs, “I could, but she might not give it to me. And I don't want it from her. I want it from you.”

Jieqiong fiddles with her fingers, chews on her bottom lip.

“I can't, sorry.”

Minkyung sighs, ruffles her hair, “Well, that was worth a try at least. You  _ are _ really cute but I guess I really don't compare huh.”

Jieqiong's eyes fly up, “What do you mean?” 

“I'm not blind,” Minkyung says, “And Nayoung is really cute.”

“I-” 

“It's ok, I won't tell,” Minkyung says, “Good luck with that though.”

“I know she doesn't,” Jieqiong says, “But that's alright for now. I'll be alright.”

“C'mere.”

Jieqiong blinks. Good lord she has amazing eyes. Minkyung is kind of jealous. Mostly of Nayoung. But maybe not really.

“Hug,” Minkyung says, “I'll give you a hug.”

“But you don't even know me.”

“I don't have to. I understand.”

\---

“They're hugging.”

Kyungwon looks up from her phone, “Looks like it.”

“They just met.”

“Minkyung adopts kids really quickly. Especially ones that look like they need love. Or a friend.” Kyungwon's attention has returned to her phone.

“Minkyung doesn't like strangers.”

“She's your charge. She's not a stranger. And Minkyung tends to likes things you like.”

“She's patting Jieqiong on the head now.”

Kyungwon looks up from her phone, “Nayoung, Minkyung pats you on the head too. As long as they're not kissing it's normal.”

“They're-” 

“Nayoung, relax. Minkyung isn't going to run off with her.”

“But they're-” 

Kyungwon puts her phone down.

“If I didn't know better, Nayoung, I'd say you were being jealous right now.”


	5. If My Greed

“I want your sweater.”

Nayoung and Minkyung both look up from their food at Jieqiong. 

Kyungwon's eyes light up, “I'll send you the link. I think it's still on sale.”

“No way.”

“Uh, yeah probably? It said til the end of this week. Here. Minkyung, scoot over. Let me show you.”

Minkyung shoots Kyungwon a horrified look but doesn’t budge.

Kyungwon sighs, waves her chopsticks, “Move, fatso.”

“I'm not-” 

“Yeah, you're not. Now, move. You're in the way.”

“Oh no, I can-” Jieqiong makes to stand.

“You. Sit,” Kyungwon says seriously, chopsticks swinging around to point at Jieqiong, “I'm not about to make Nayoung-unnie move. Now, Kim Minkyung. Move or else.”

Minkyung pouts but gets up, “Fine, I see how it is.”

Jieqiong smiles apologetically and it is almost cute enough for Minkyung to forgive her. But not even close for her to forgive Kyungwon. That would take a lot more. She glowers at Kyungwon who literally just flips her hair. Ugh.

“Oh, I got this belt from there too. I guess I didn't look at the sweaters. Have you seen these-” Jieqiong reaches over, almost leaning on Kyungwon, types on the phone, “shoes?”

Minkyung and Nayoung exchange a look when Kyungwon practically lights up, nodding frantically, “I've been eying the navy ones.”

“I like the white better but it'd be navy after for me.”

Jieqiong and Kyungwon look at each other like they’ve never seen another human being in their lives. Minkyung crunches into a radish. Audibly.

“Girl,” Kyungwon beams, “we need to go shopping. Or you need to come over and we can go internet shopping. Same thing.”

Jieqiong's smile is blinding.

* * *

_Are you awake?_

_Yes._

_Oh good. Her. Number._

_Would it hurt you to say please?_

_It's already hurting my pride that I have to ask you for it. Kyungwon wouldn't give it to me. Something about betraying friends. As if we haven't been friends since middle school._

_…_

_C'mon, Nayoung, don't be a spoilsport. I swear I'm not gonna do anything dumb._

_…given what you've done before…_

_That was one time. We promised to not talk about it ever again. Have I let you down after that?_

_Do you want me to answer that question honestly?_

_Narong, please? Please, please, please, please? You can imagine my face right now. I know you can. Please?_

_That face._

_Yes. That face. Please Narong? You know I won't leak it or anything dumb like that._

_I know you won't._

_Then? Please? I'll buy you dinner._

_Dinner._

_And lunch. And two more dinners. And I'll even get my friends to go to your parents’ restaurant. They write food blogs._

_…that's bribery._

_Well, is it working?_

_010-7321-1216_

_I love you, Narong. I hope you know that. When do you want your dinners?_

_…it's fine._

_I'll still send the food bloggers._

_Ok._

_I know you're smiling. Can't fool me._

_It's 3am, Minkyung. Go to sleep._

_My mission is accomplished so I will. G'night unnie~_

_Night. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Please?_

* * *

A knock on Nayoung's door and she gets up, crosses the room.

“Uh,” Jieqiong says, “So I think they gave me extra rice. Uhm.”

Nayoung blinks the sleep out of her eyes. It's midday. She must have slept in. Oh well, they're not busy anyway, and Jieqiong can get to PT or pilates on her own so… The word _rice_ registers in Nayoung's head. Jieqiong chews on her lower lip.

“Want lunch?” 

Nayoung nods blearily, recognizing the smell of soup, follows Jieqiong’s smile out to the kitchen table.

There is a single portion of soup and two bowls of rice and all the plastic packaging that comes with ordering delivery.

“Extra rice,” Nayoung says as she sits down.

Jieqiong's look turns sheepish, “Uhm.”

Nayoung picks up her spoon, “You ordered rice.”

“Well, it said soup on the menu and I haven't ordered delivery in a really long time and I wasn't sure if there would be rice - well I thought there wouldn't be rice so I kind of just ordered it because more rice is better than no rice and we don't actually have rice at home?”

Nayoung raises her eyebrows.

“It didn’t say, ok.”

Nayoung giggles.

Jieqiong pouts, picks up her glass, “It's not that funny.”

“It's not funny,” Nayoung hears herself say, “It's kind of cute.”

Jieqiong splutters into her tea, turns red.

Nayoung shrugs, “I bet the delivery person was pretty confused.”

Jieqiong turns even redder.

“But thanks for the food.”

* * *

_Sungyeon, help._

_Good morning to you too._

_It’s 3pm but that’s not the point. Help._

_Did no one tell you that just saying ‘Hi’ is a complete waste of time and that you should also include what you want to ask in the first text so that the person you’re chatting with can decide if they want to spend the time right now to respond to you? Or ‘Help’ in this case? Like you could be dying and I wouldn’t know where to send the police._

_...no one’s said this to me before?_

_Well. I guess I don’t know why I expected you to know that. Whatever. What did you do now?_

_I didn’t do anything. I need help. What do I wear?_

_Woman, firstly, how would I know? Where are you going? What is this occasion? Who are you meeting? Secondly, really, why do you think I’d give good advice? I haven’t seen your wardrobe in five years and that 2 minute glimpse I got while you were offering me pajama pants most certainly doesn’t count._

_I’m going to Nayoung’s friend’s place. We’re going shopping. I think. Or internet shopping. I don’t know._

_Ok._

_What does ok mean?_

_Ok means continue. Continue._

_...there’s nothing to continue. That’s it._

_That’s it? Then just wear whatever you usually wear to go shopping. Like comfortable shoes. Or maybe not comfortable shoes. Your heels might be made of steel. I don’t know. Also something nice so you can go into fancy places but not too nice that you can’t try on clothes? You’re really barking up the wrong tree. I don’t really go shopping where you go shopping. I kind of don’t go shopping._

_You’re not helping. And what if we don’t go shopping but just end up chilling at her place?_

_Surely you can find something in your incredibly large wardrobe that fits both occasions._

_I’m panicking. I can’t think._

_...yeah let’s get back to the main underlying issue here. Why does this matter so much?_

_Sungyeon._

_Yes?_

_You know why this matters so much._

_Jieqiong._

_Yes?_

_You look good in whatever. Seriously. Stop worrying, dumbass._

_B-but._

_Don’t you b-but me. But seriously though, is Nayoung going too?_

_No?_

_Then I really don’t get why this matters._

_>. <_

_Ok fine I get it. You want to impress the friends. Wait. How do you even know them?_

_We had dinner together yesterday but that’s really not important._

_I actually think it’s pretty important but t-shirt. Jeans. Blazer._

_Thanks Sungyeon, you’re the best._

_I expect a report after this._

_Yes, mother._

* * *

“Wow, you’re pretty tall,” Jieqiong says, “I mean, not that I didn’t think you were but it’s kind of different seeing a tall- I’ll just shut up now.”

Kyungwon grins, wiggles her eyebrows, “And you’re kinda pretty.”

Jieqiong’s jaw drops, her eyes widen, the tips of her ears visible from behind her facemask turning a bright red and Kyungwon guffaws, tilting back in laughter.

“Seriously, no one’s told you that?”

“I- I mean, it’s...”

Kyungwon sticks her tongue out, “I’m just teasing you, silly. I totally get why Minkyung likes you now. You’re fun to tease. You are pretty though.”

Jieqiong opens her mouth then shuts it, now thoroughly pink around the edges.

Kyungwon laughs.

“I really love your bomber jacket though? It’s such a nice color and it’s a great look. And your hair is actually very bright up close.”

Kyungwon chuckles, “C’mon kiddo. Let’s get going. All this shopping isn’t going to do itself.”

* * *

_Sungyeon it’s a disaster._

_What’s a disaster? You?_

_Yes._

_…_

_No but seriously. They’re. All. Awesome._

_Who?_

_Nayoung’s friends._

_Ok._

_Ok means continue right?_

_Yes._

_And they’re all so tall. Like actually so tall. They’re like at least 5 cm on me. And they’re gorgeous. Sungyeon, help._

_Ok._

_What do I do?_

_Well, was shopping fun?_

_Shopping was awesome. We don’t have the exact same tastes but that’s fine because she’s willing to sit around and her opinions on what looks good and what kinda might maybe work are actually really great and I didn’t get all that much but I really love this jacket I got and I helped her pick out shoes and then we had dessert and Sungyeon, she dips churros in ice cream too!_

_Jieqiong._

_Hm?_

_You sure you don’t just like, like every pretty girl that’s taller than you?_

_W-Wha- No? I would totally hang out with her again but I don’t, it’s not like that. She’s like the older sister I never had or something. We’re shopping soulmates if there’s such a thing. If there isn’t, then there sure is now._

_So what’s the problem?_

_She’s like a taller, cooler, more put together me that’s such a nice person. And she’s already Nayoung’s friend._

_Ok?_

_And I mean I-You know what, never mind. It’s fine. It’s all good. I’m just- it’s ok. I’m ok._

_Jieqiong? Jieqiong? Hello?_

* * *

“How was shopping?”

Jieqiong looks up from her noodles, “O-Oh, shopping was great.”

Nayoung nods, “Kyungwon and you seemed to hit it off.”

“We have similar fashion tastes and she’s really nice.”

“Mm,” Nayoung says, “that’s good.”

She pauses, wants to say more, to say things like, _it’s good that you’ve found a kindred spirit, it’s great that you’re friends with my friends_ , but the words do not emerge.

“Yeah,” Jieqiong smiles a small, small smile, “it’s pretty good.”

The rest of the meal is mostly punctuated by sounds of cutlery and plates.

* * *

A shriek from the bathroom later that evening has Jieqiong leaping out of bed and out the door in a second, wielding her phone in her hand like a battle implement.

Another shriek and the bathroom door opens and a fully clothed Nayoung scrambles out backwards, barely missing bumping into her.

“Are you alright?”

Nayoung’s eyes are wide and her hands are trembling slightly.

“C-Cockroach!”

Jieqiong turns to head to the kitchen for the cockroach spray only to be stopped by a hand on her shoulder, “W-Where are you going?”

“The spray,” Jieqiong says, “is under the kitchen sink. Keep an eye on it?”

“D-Wha-No, I-”

“I’ll be two seconds,” Jieqiong says, patting the hand on her shoulder, “Now make sure we still know where it is.”

Nayoung shakes her head.

“Two seconds,” Jieqiong says gently, lightly pries the hand off of her shoulder, “You’ll be fine.”

The hand releases her and Jieqiong sprints to the kitchen, finds the red can and is right back.

Nayoung looks like she’s torn between wanting to evaporate off of the face of the planet and wanting to cling onto Jieqiong and never let go.

Jieqiong spots the relatively mid-sized intruder with no help from a frozen Nayoung whatsoever and sprays around it first, then finally at it. 

The cockroach tries to run. Jieqiong thinks she might have seen it try to unfold its wings but she’s used cans like this many times in the past and she’d like to think she has pretty decent aim. 

Nayoung screams and grabs onto Jieqiong’s shoulder. 

Jieqiong jumps at the scream but keeps spraying - they are going to need to buy another can for future use just in case this one runs out halfway next time. 

The cockroach contacts the liquid poison and the bubbling starts. It twitches.

Jieqiong is not afraid to say that she is the type of person who does not stop spraying until the insect stops moving even though she knows that is probably overkill. There is no overkill with cockroaches. Someone once told her that cockroaches would probably be the last living things after any major extinction event and she believes that.

“Newspaper,” she says.

“Huh?” says Nayoung.

Jieqiong stops spraying, takes one of Nayoung’s shaking hands in hers, passes her the can and then her phone, “Ok, you watch the thing.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m getting something to whack it with,” Jieqiong says, “I don’t know if I think this thing will die from poison alone.”

“Slipper?”

“I like my slippers.”

“Then use mine, don’t go. Hurry up. Kill it. Just kill it. I don’t care how. Just do it.”

Jieqiong raises an amused eyebrow, “Alright.”

She picks up one of Nayoung’s bathroom slippers and soon enough, accompanied by many thwacks, the cockroach is very much no more.

Nayoung visibly relaxes as they flush the bits of the cockroach down the toilet. Jieqiong’s lips twitch into a smile, “you’re not an insect person?”

Nayoung shudders, “It flew.”

“Oh,” says Jieqiong, matches the shudder with one of her own, “ohh. Ugh.”

She pats Nayoung gently on the back, “Are you alright? Didn’t hit yourself on anything, did you?”

Nayoung shakes her head.

Jieqiong smiles, “Alright.”

* * *

Nayoung notes that Jieqiong actually meets Kyungwon almost every weekend - they go shopping and then grab dessert or so Minkyung dutifully recounts to her. She even once got an extremely gleeful selfie of the three of them hanging out in some mall.

Not that they don’t try to invite her - they do try but Nayoung has gone shopping with Kyungwon once before and it was just about the most disastrous thing that happened so she just, well, does not. Their relationship is a million times better this way, a little funny given how laid back Kyungwon usually is and how relaxed Nayoung can be, that shopping together would manage to frustrate both of them so much.

Or well, Nayoung remembers being tired out of her wits and she does not know if Kyungwon found that stressful or not but the shopping invitations had only dried up so clearly, bad idea.

Nayoung’s preferred weekend afternoons are naps or quiet cafes, watching shows as people move about in the background, occasionally flicking through her social media feeds for pictures.

_Nyanya missing out big time_ is Minkyung’s latest instagram caption beneath a candid picture of Jieqiong grinning with her whole face at a small puppy. 

Nayoung snorts and likes the picture.

* * *

It is one of the weekends that Nayoung is home - there are no formal activities during this period because the company is busy with other artists and the songwriters are not quite done yet - when her phone buzzes with a text.

_Unnie, it reads, are you asleep?_

Nayoung rolls over in her bed, checks the time - it’s two in the morning.

_No._

_I know it’s late and you’re not working today and it’s kind of really overboard to ask this but the power went out two hours ago and the house is really dark and quiet and scary and I don’t know where the breaker is and it’s getting cold and-_

Nayoung sits up, throws on a jacket.

_I’ll be right there._

* * *

_Sungyeon, you there?_

_…_

_Sungyeon?_

_…_

_Sungyeon?_

_…_

_Sung.yeon._

_Yes?_

_Can I call you? I think I fucked up._


End file.
